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最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 09:13
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The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
I don\'t approve of political jokes... I\'ve seen too many of them get elected.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
I don\'t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
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The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can\'t, you are usually right.
Three o\'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Gigerenzer\'s Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
Mit der Dummheit k?mpfen G?tter selbst vergebens
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
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Don\'t drive me crazy -- it\'s within walking distance.
Don\'t knock masturbation, it\'s sex with someone I love .
I Can\'t Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don\'t Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air ? however slight ? lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog\'s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
I\'m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can\'t understand is, if they don\'t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
When you\'ve seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog\'s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
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Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
When I die I\'m going to leave my body to science fiction.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn\'t go away.
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
You\'re about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I\'ve only ever had one.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Never test for an error condition you don\'t know how to handle.
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Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don\'t need to be done.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
Either he\'s dead or my watch has stopped.
If it wasn\'t for C, we\'d be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
I\'m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
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Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
I don\'t know why we are here, but I\'m pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
It\'s wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
It\'s not the size of the dog in the fight, it\'s the size of the fight in the dog.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven\'t said enough.
It\'s strange, isn\'t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go \'aaaaagghhhh\' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
It\'s not the size of the dog in the fight, it\'s the size of the fight in the dog.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
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Humor is just another defense against the universe.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
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We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
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C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
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Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven\'t said enough.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn\'t have an air force.
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
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I\'m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
I have an existential map; it has \'you are here\' written all over it.
I\'d stop eating chocolate, but I\'m no quitter.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Louis Pasteur\'s theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
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Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I\'ve never tried before.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
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We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, \'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don\'t believe?
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn\'t.
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I\'m Jewish. I don\'t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven\'t said enough.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
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A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it\'s good it\'s wonderful, and when it\'s bad it\'s still pretty good.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you\'re gonna get.
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It\'s the transition that\'s troublesome.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, \'Where have I gone wrong?\' Then a voice says to me, \'This is going to take more than one night.\'
If it wasn\'t for lawyers, we wouldn\'t need them.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
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Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
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Sex is like air. It\'s only a big deal if you can\'t get any.
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My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
If you\'re sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
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It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
Computer dating is fine, if you\'re a computer.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
I\'ve just learned about his illness. Let\'s hope it\'s nothing trivial.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse\'s family too.
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
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In the begining there was nothing and God said \'Let there be light\', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
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Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
I\'m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
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In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it\'s the exact opposite.
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A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
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A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn\'t have an air force.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
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The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
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When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, \'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don\'t believe?
In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
Louis Pasteur\'s theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don\'t know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that\'s my position.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
If you can\'t get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you\'d best teach it to dance.
I wouldn\'t mind dying - it\'s the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn\'t go away.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
Fill what\'s empty, empty what\'s full, and scratch where it itches.
But at my back I always hear Time\'s winged chariot hurrying near.
The difference between \'involvement\' and \'commitment\' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was \'involved\' - the pig was \'committed\'.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
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He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn\'t understand me.
A man\'s only as old as the woman he feels.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
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When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
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The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
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I\'m Jewish. I don\'t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, \'Why god? Why me?\' and the thundering voice of God answered, \'There\'s just something about you that pisses me off.\'
I have an existential map; it has \'you are here\' written all over it.
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: \'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
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When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I\'ve never tried before.
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A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
I don\'t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
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The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don\'t talk about other people.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
It\'s the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
Diplomacy is the art of saying \'Nice doggie!\'... \'til you can find a rock.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/15/(Sun) 10:10
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